Our daughter has prominent features from both me and my husband. It is very clear that she belongs to us. She has skin like mine, dark hair like both of us, my husband's distinctive eye shape and rosebud mouth. She is the perfect mix of both of us.
With that said, we still have people, strangers none-the-less, questioning where she got certain features. Namely, her hair. We get asked all the time where she got her hair. Like, the beauty supply store- where do you think? Here’s one example: we were at a children’s party a few months back and a woman began chatting us up. It was innocent at first with her saying how our daughter was so beautiful and she loved her hair. Then she began to dive deeper. “What are you?” she barked, out of nowhere. I paused, not wanting to continue this inane conversation, and she continued “I ask because it’s hard to tell and your daughter has curly hair and I see neither of you do.” At that point, my husband just got up and left the table. He wasn't having any of it. Just to shut her up, I tersely replied “I am Irish and Trinindadian and my husband is Puerto Rican and Black. So, she is all of the above.” “I wouldn’t have guessed that” she spat. Yeah, no shit you wouldn’t have. Also, what is this, Guess My Race?
We find ourselves having to justify and explain why our daughter looks the way she does because most people don't have a basic understanding of genetics or how they work. I just wish those interested would say the compliment and keep it moving. There is no need for the deep dive or the interrogation.
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